zpizza

May 24th, 2015

Apr 20th, 2015

This pizza was *terrible*. I feel like I wasted the calories required to consume it, like I want to induce vomiting so that I can return the unneeded portion of this execrable meal to nature so that I can try again in order to consume something that doesn't taste like cardboard. We could have saved time and money by going to get a red baron pizza from Safeway instead of this colossal pizza failure. I almost never order out, but was very tired, went for a run, and we have no food to speak of in the house. Thoughts turned to pizza, but I really didn't want any special pizza, and Piecora's is now closed. So I tried to order something safe and flavorful: double pepperoni pizza with pepproncini peppers, and since the oregano and basil was free, why not? I have a topping left? Throw on some extra Parmesan! Then 45 minutes of anticipation in which I made a kale salad and ate it. When the doorbell finally rang, and we got our pizza, I hurriedly went upstairs and sat on the couch to open it. It did not look good, but I was willing to give it the benefit of the doubt. I put some red peppers on it and bit into it. And it was completely bland. Utterly bland. It was as if it had been brought to our door by a flavor vampire who had sucked out all the taste. Is it possible that zpizza is actually a front company? Do they siphon the pizza taste out of their pizza for resale on the commodities market? I want to reinforce that none of the ingredients on this pizza *should* have been mild. Pepperoni. Pepperoncini. Basil. Oregano. Mozzerella cheese. We tried them all separately and in combinations, full of disbelief that we'd just paid $20 for this utter failure to show up at our door. But the verdict was inescapable. No part of this pizza was good. Not the pepperoni, my wife's comment on it: "what is it made out of"? My best guess is that it's made out of eraser dust mixed with pencil shavings and glued together with leftover candle wax. Not the basil, it could have been colored paper. Not the awful oregano, the miserable mozzarella, or the sorry sauce. No! Every ingredient from the top right down to the crappy crust was beyond help. And the whole was somehow less than the sum of the parts. I can only imagine that in the years to come the delivery staff will need therapy to deal with the fact that they were responsible for distributing this lifeless "food". So, recommendation? *Do* *not* order any zpizza. Order domino's. Discover frozen pizza hiding in the bottom of a long lost freezer. Hell, give up food and subscribe to soylent, but under no circumstances subject yourself to this moment of culinary meh. This public service message brought to you by sadness and regret.
Jun 30th, 2014

No good
Jun 20th, 2014

Love Zpizza! It's hard to find pizza places that use good quality ingredients, is healthy, has unique pizza toppings (as well as the old usuals) and doesn't cost an arm and a leg! Zpizza is by far my favorite pizza place!
Jan 31st, 2014